Let me just say this. I have been looking forward to this Lenten Season for quite some time; more than I ever have in my life as a Christian. I didn’t always celebrate Lent. As an adult Christian, it was basically seen as a time to give up certain foods or to take on the dreaded curse of the Daniel Fast.
Lawd. Daniel’s Fast. I have broken that fast more times than I care to recount.
However this year, instead of reaching for the stars and trying cut out everything (Meat, Dairy, TV, Social Media, Sugar & every other good thing!) I took some time out to evaluate what if anything I could give up. I also took some time to think about what I could expect from God during this Lenten season! 2017 so far has been LIT for me. Not because everything is as I think it should be, but because I am in tip-toe expectation of what God is about to do in the Earth through me. I just feel like God is about to break open the heavens on my behalf and for His Glory. Excited just doesn’t even cover it right now.
So last night, I spent time with one of closest friends & creative accountability partner; dreaming big, planning our next steps and bouncing ideas off of each other. I had my “first day of Lent” all planned out.
Wednesdays tend to be long days for me at my job. Right now, I’m on the 9-7 shift. So because I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to step foot out of my business, I decided to get up early, run all errands for the day before I got to work. I would get my coffee (no I did NOT give up coffee for Lent; judge yourself!) and have some devotional time at my desk before I started my work day.
If you’re not following along at “Keeping up with Candace” on my site, I felt like God has been pulling me in the direction of the book of Hebrews. So I decided I’d focus in on that book for my Lenten study. I took weeks researching Bible studies and plans. I settled on one and I was ready to GO! #YayFortheFirstDayofLent
Welp. I woke up late. The train was early. I missed my connection. They didn’t have the latte I wanted because they ran out of the butterscotch. I cussed in my head. The replacement they made for me wasn’t sufficient. I went to grab breakfast from Dunkin to soothe my grief. I ordered and ate a biscuit. A biscuit. On the first day of Lent when I wasn’t eating BREAD. I forgot. Ugh. I didn’t have my quiet time. My work day was crazy busy. I was worn out. I dropped tears at my desk from sheer exhaustion & anxiety. I went to Wawa for “lunch” at 4:15pm. I ordered soup. Do I want a crusty buttered role with that?
Sounds so good. No devil, you won’t me…again!
Look, they still have those UTZ chips I love. They’re 2 for $2.00. I gave up junk food for Lent.
Suffice to say this day did NOT go as planned or intentioned. It was a rough day. Not at ALL what I wanted my first day of Lent to be like.
And yet…My friends told me to take some deep breaths…talked me off the ledge. There’s grace there. One of my brothers from another mother came to see me today. I always enjoy our convos.There’s some more grace.
I had very kind customers all day. Grace.
I’m on my way home after a very long day to a quiet & empty house (at least for a few hours). Grace.
The best part is the grace I have to start over tomorrow. Tomorrow is another opportunity to experience more grace in whatever area I need it in.
His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Whatever that weakness is; even the misguided need to be perfect. Waking up late & not spending time with Dad. Blowing my top at Starbucks. Lack of patience with my staff. Unforgiveness; for myself and others.
HELLO MARCH! GOD & I still have BIG plans for you! 🙂
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
The soundtrack for this post is provided by Ayiesha Wood’s “Days”.